Overboard Index

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>>138
poastin p hard today huh?

>>139
Fuck
That's supposed to say toady
Damn you atuto correct ruining my stilistick prememenitions

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Everyone is a gay bisexual transexual
Every transexual is pansexual transexual gay
Each gay is trans-sexed bipedal hermaphrodeficient unless they won a genetic lottery of which there are many, but this one is androgyne in polaric flexibility
Infact I'm trisexed in a gay sexed affliction that's the opposite of a cis het addiction though I'm certainly strung out in other ways
But to answer your question with my line break progression; yes. In fact. I'm gay
Your gay, she's gay, he's gay, xi's gay, were all gay and we'd stay that way if we weren't psychically beaten by a society that's caustically eatin our souls every day

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>>185
You're*

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Not nearly gay enough by my measure
theres still all these strait people hanging around to give me grief outside my house

>>57
Thank you ^^
signs are pointing to it going pretty excellently

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>>46 (OP) 

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>>46 (OP) 
for real though
so many girls out here looking 2 have a have a bad time for no discernable reason
smh
what can be done but to try & meet them where they are

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>>172
why is it so hard to feel better
why is it so hard to move on from things that are bad and not interested in getting better?

I made tacos tonight and that was nice, or will be

sirloin strips, lime cilantro rice, caramelized onion and some romaine in a flour tortilla with habanero salsa.

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Everything that comes across my screens is related to me, relayed for me. That might not sound that different than how its supposed to be, but for me its talking to me. The things that happen they're posted for me even when they're for someone else. Not everything, not all the time, not even necessarily frequently; but when it does happen it happens intensely, unrelentingly. I feel so sick. I know I'm sick. these things cant be true there aren't many people communicating with me to push me toward something, much less some large entity orchestrating  the feeds to give me this realization. orchestrating events in my life to do it. I'm not really important enough for that, I'm not special. I want to be and so I feel paranoia about all of this because I want to be important, I want to be something that matters, I want to have something destined about me. even if its just something horrible to come after me that no one else does. it would be so exciting. and it is. so exciting I that when it happens I want anything else, i no longer want to have been chosen. I want to hide and never come out. I want to run away and escape from it. I no longer have any where to go though. I can't convince myself its not real. Its been like this for years and its constantly getting worse. At first it was just relentless deja vu that seemed innocuous, but when that went away I was left with visions of my demise. endless and varied iterations of it, they never came to pass and so I kept quiet about it

>>49
When I manage to act, I could also benefit from less impulsivity. I'll try to be a bit more regular with my practice

>>51
>>50
well I tend to sit every morning for 30 minutes to an hour every day at 2:00 PM UTC so if you sit then know that we're sitting together ^_^

Counting meditation is going well (i.e. it's developing) and I'm able to make it to 2-3 usually before I make thoughts for myself. In some ways it's really relieving to have such a mechanical practice after a long time of sitting and not being sure if I was 'doing it right' and having no teacher/no way to really know check in.

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so i noticed over the past few weeks how tense I get during meditation trying to keep myself focused on counting&breathing to the exclusion of any thoughts and I think given how relentlessly I seem to have thoughts this is the wrong approach.
now when I notice tensions i'll just notice them and let them soften w/o focusing on them. kind of like finding the bodily awareness i have when i'm falling asleep, only sitting up and with more alertness. so i have this feelign of constantly (slowly, inevitably) opening, letting go, unfolding.
I seem to have fewer thoughts and when they occur into my awareness i find it's easier to like. more palpably "let go" of them.
I wonder if that's a better approach?

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Things blew up last month so I didn't keep this journal the way I meant to but I've still practiced every day.

Most of the time during meditation I still find myself counting 1, then immediately going back to 1 as I'll notice I'm having thoughts (i.e. attaching to reference points) again. This really discouraged me but I'm told it's very common, and the point of this part of the practice is to become familiar with one's awareness. So, finding my awareness in thoughts, letting go of thoughts and then finding the presence of my awareness in counting for as long as there happen to be no thoughts IS the practice. I also try and extend the practice of stopping, letting go, letting there be space into the rest of my life, but it's hard to explain in words what that experience is like and I don't want to confuse myself by trying.

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hello there spirit OTT
I have recently been able to commit to a meditation of some piecemeal variety of assembled remnants after gouging out some commitment and jotting it down. 
I've tried doing Zen meditations before, but my commitment to them only ever lasted so long. i definitely saw the benefit of that kind though would certainly like to get back to it. Zen meditation makes sense to me, expanding awareness to as many things as possible, never thinking that you know it all, approaching everything like you're a beginner in order to tap a flow you can ride anywhere. 
I see you mentioning something about avoiding reference points, but how could you navigate anywhere without those? How would you even know where you are or do anything, even remember that you're not supposed to have them?

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>>124 (OP) 
you want me to relinquish power?
Here it is
Go ahead and take it
Throw out curses if that makes you feel better
send all your legions
they will never break me
I acquired power for the promise
I aim to keep it even if its stripped from me
I never claimed to be a hero
no fear to return to zero
Never played with hearts nor throw them away
not my fault if you chose not to wait me
I AIM TO FIGHT
 I will make it true

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>>125
Holy shit shut the fuck up. This is not what I made you four. You were supposed write shit and study. I go to sleep for a minute and wake up to this fucking shit storm. Hopeless romantic water monkey sex death idiot. When has this ever worked out for you? Why couldn't you stay on task? Why are you like this? 
Vaugely

I remember in the beginning she told that things would go better if I don't idealize people on the internet. 
Seemed honest. 
I liked that.
Didn't listen?
 I remember she said people that don't invest in their future self go broke, many such cases. 
That hurt and made me want to be better. 
I loved it. 
Didn't listen.
She barked like dog when I was expected to cat. Showed me shadow shoes and said do you want to be normal or be happy?
 I knew what team I wanted play for.
listened

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>>124 (OP) 
Things are as right as rain could ever make them,
sex death romance has gotten me basically anywhere i have ever gone and its only started to to south when i stopped anounching that
promises are kept as far as i can see
& you can always come back here if you want to tak to me

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Duryea-Gode Disease is a genetic disorder characterized by the carrier having uncontrollable impulses toward literally tearing themselves apart in ghastly spectacles of self mutilation; which on rare occasions can even lead to the dismemberment of others. One such case is Lynn’s, the diver of the narrative, father. A man who skinned her mother alive? before digging through his rib cage in a feverish attempt to pry out his own heart.  Viewed as ticking time bombs the ostracization of the carriers is rampant. The main treatment for prevention being a specially formed diet, casually referred to as dog biscuits, which makes the afflicted easy enough to spot that keeping their status under wraps is all but impossible.

Several ‘’treatment’’ facilities exist for the housing of patients with DGD once they begin to drift, or their urges become apparently untethered. Something which normally means a box with a luxurious name placed away from society, lined with padded walls utilizing restraints as mandatory attire to keep patients from disgorging themselves. Lynn has swung her way into medical school on a scholarship from such an institution, though the reputation DGD’s have for being particularly productive and creative didn't hurt her any. A reputation not unrecognizably applied to the non neurotypicals in our own realm. Possessing traits deemed personally destructive and therefore pushed towards the margins, but often have populations lauded as being 

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>>111

¹ (Bataille 1985) 68 Black foot indians have a tradition of removing fingers to offer to the morning star
²  Ibid 67
³( Butler 2012) 63
⁴ (Bataille 1985) a quote from hubert and mauss’s [sacrifice: its nature and function p.101]
⁵ Whom he claimed influenced his behavior
⁶ (Bataille 1985) 61-2
⁷ (Bataille 1985) 62-2,71
⁸ (Butler 2012; Bataille 1985)
⁹ (Deleuze 2006) 84 “willing=creating”, 111 “...active forces produce a burst of creativity”, 169 “becoming-active only exists through the will to nothingness” 174-5
¹⁰ (Butler 2012) 61 “Most DGDs have the sense to marry each other and produce any children. I hope you two aren't planning on having any-...” - Beatrice
¹¹  A case exists of woman locked in an institution who was commanded by a man of fire to tear off her ears, failing to do so ||for a lack of a sharp instrument||, she compromised by plucking her eyes from her skull. (Bataille 1985) 66-67

Bataille, Georges. 1985. Visions of Excess: Selected Writings, 1927-1939. U of Minnesota Press.

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The goal has always been hells.
I never believed in heaven.


Octavia butlers last essay in Blood Child, The Book of Martha is about her utopia. Martha speaks to God, is invited into their realm God to name one change she would like to see, one change that will benefit humanity. The utopia she drafts is vivid dreams,  every night, inescapable, more vivid and satisfying than reality could ever be, so people can experience their fantasies to the point that Some will give up on their lives and decide to die because nothing they do matters as much as their dreams. Some will enjoy it and try to go on with their familiar lives, but even they will find the dreams interfere with their relations to other people. & she lands here because she doesn't believe in heaven either. It makes me want to wretch. I am so sick of these dreaming drugs she has no idea what she is asking for. Her utopia exists this way because her Martha was too tepid to commit to a larger change than more vivid fantasy. No wishing people weren't enslaved to eating, to tilling the soil. No wish they did not tire. No wish for ways they could understand each other better despite a discussion of the Tower of Babel. No wish for them to tolerate pain better, to let is pass over, to be harnessed more effectively, to have it read as something else. No. No wish for advancement or adaptation of any kind. Instead she 

https://2dpill.me/vichan/


Haiii >~< why haven't you taken the 2dpill?

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Welcome to A1chan. User board creation is enabled.
https://a1chan.ch/
Tor: http://aonech4rac5fqmfmrmkm25xs4elqpebouuu3hfxd4w36bj6cnzhf2zid.onion/

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3ch
http://taozgyb2jfbj567lzvfjse4c2snsb37tq3o2iucflxqoilogwc6bx2qd.onion
also i2p http://y5hr627jx2kzyaxlg3i5ohbmlj37eduamz67qd23kkg3dy4hg5ea.b32.i2p

>everyone of them are dead

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Hello from Junkuchan! I hope you are doing well.

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I like A Little Snow Fairy Sugar.... for some reason we had a DVD of it with the first 4 episodes around when I was a kid. 

>>65
kite is the hentai you watch for the plot. feeling sick pleasure and revulsion seeing sawa get raped isn't something you can get away from if you want to actually experience the story. 'clean' edits are for fucking mormons.

>>64
based milkchan appreciator. I still haven't seen the adult-swim cut with all of the localizations

>>67
>>65
A little known fact about Kite is that in universe no one ever reloads their gun. It's just bang bang bang all the time forever. No breaks, no pauses, just gun fury.

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Watch anime? 
Bitch i live anime
i eat breath think and sleep anime
i live inside it and it lives through me
you dorks and your hokey lists cant hold a candle to the oneness that is my comprehension of anime
over the course of however many episodes, i obtain absolute knowledge of insert character here 
their set and setting
it is available to and sustained by me eternally
the entirety of their being
equivalent to bringing them forth
eternally eternity
despite awareness of they and their worlds temporality
all their becommings as being
I carry on with me

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Recently I have been watching Space Dandy. While it isn’t exactly my kind of show, that certainly doesn’t make it bad. There are two episodes that stuck out beyond the others which I quite liked. The first is an episode on time loops. What I enjoyed particularly was that the characters, when stuck in them, had trouble recognizing it, and when it did become aware of it, it notedly only occurred by chance. The loop was of some number that had a particular relevance to me at the time of viewing it, and might still if I could remember what it was. The other is more vivid more vivid in memory and perhaps more relevant for that reason, though it has undoubtedly faded quite a bit as well

That episode has to do with an alien erasing their viewer’s memory upon sight. The crew is tasked with its capture and transport for a bounty, but there’s more to it than that. The alien, if I haven't confused the episodes, is a book. Not really an uncommon one either, given the concentration of them in the place of its origin. A planet sized library which is erased from your memory upon leaving thus the result at the end of the episode. Here they exist filling the heads of creatures with ideas, problems, which they use them to solve by producing further texts. Being static themselves without the interaction of a creatures mind, they are dependent for advancement. It reminds me vaguely of the way ideas as an object are presented in Terry Pratchet’s small gods. A strea

>>128 (OP) 
Thats the manga with the fashy angels that commit genocide on a lower class of red eyed angels they call rabbits because their sexual reproduction caused physical deformities in some of them right?

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>>134
The rule of heaven is unquestionably totalitarian. While that should not be too surprising for a kingdom, it is more than absolutely confirmed as soon as volume 3. act 3. Book of the Material World: Presumed Guilty whose spine pictures Arachne smoking, clad in leather & notably also the first spine w/o Setsuna, though he is in the original image >>>/gtfo/171. Where Zaphikel , Arcthrone of Heaven struck blind by visage of Adam Kadamon, and introduced in vol 2. Book of the Material World Act 2. Crying Game to splash hot tea on Setsuna to prevent his suicide from interfering with his enjoyment of a hot beverage, says in conversation with his surbordinate Raziel about the peace brought by the reign of Metatron & Sevothtarte "That is how things appear when oppressed by a reign based on fear. But once those frustrations of the oppressed build up it becomes like a bottle of shaken soda. it might explode at the slightest jolt. And furthermore, Raziel. Would you trust a leader who never shows his face?" Raziel happens to be the most involved with the rabbits of any angle we get to see. Befriending several in a mission he thought was to bring aid, but after dropping of the supplies, & the location was bombed, he learned it had been a ploy to find their location. 

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>>129 (OP) 
The thing thats  jumping out at me immediately here is the discrepancy in how these orders come about and are overturned, or rather where one is worth up holding vs overturning. You failed to mention the code of hamarabi which is an attempt to a return to order that Enki helps his son Marduk develop to compensate for the lost me after he uses the name shub to eviscerate them. Theres also the second explanation, besides Enki’s loneliness, its mentioned that he uses the name shub to remove the bottle neck which is keeping people from advancing. The Asherah virus is identified with the creation of civilization as well as the state of sumerian stagnation which the name shub of enki frees everyone from. Interestingly, rather than stagnation, Asherah is blamed for the down fall of King Horsea, prompting the centralization and creation of a heavily controlled book based counter virus which resists the information decay of the previous oral tradition. Asherah is also found as an outbreak after Jesus death disrupts the order of the Pharisees and is put down with the establishment of order as the Catholic church.  Similarly Rife uses a variation of the virus, his attempt to overthrow 3 ring binder culture; identified as being ripe for this because of the similaritety it has with sumerian order i.e. a series of instruction

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>>130
I think you're absolutely right about that, but I also think there might be more to it than you're saying, or maybe than you can say. When Juanita gives Hiro the HyperCard to access the Babel (infocalypse) records and librarian to do his research she says " It's definitely related to religion," "But this is so complex, and your background in that area is so deficient, I don't know where to begin." "Ninety-nine percent of everything that goes on in most Christian churches has nothing to do with the actual religion. Intelligent people see this sooner or later, and they conclude that the entire onehanded percent is bullshit,...". Juanita is of course a Catholic and is investing her own time and energy into creating a new branch of the church for this reason. To me this all leads into one of the more interesting quandaries of that religion and it has to do with the meaning of language as it relates to the oneness and eternity of god. The debate over whether god is eternal or sempiternal. Whether this eternity is found inside or outside time. The essays *Temporal Eternity* by Stephen T. Davis and *The God Beyond Time* by Hugh J. McCann brought into conversation are useful in elucidating this distinction. Roughly speaking, in this cosmology the eternity of god is where truth and meaning must be sought, because they are outside the effects of time, change; and thus what makes the communicable possible. & because of

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>>141
That actually plays really well with how I think this works out. The slight of hand and rewriting where a scape goat is is placed in blame to justify the erection of of a new stabilizing force, an attempted eternity against change, difference, corruption, which inevitably breaks down. The utilization of Asherah then the criminalization and blame placed upon her function to justify the new ordering. This oneness of YHVH which seeks to submit everything to its power, to assimilate all to itself in the interest of security cyclically exposed again and again. Asherah lies dormant in the brainstem, but the the reiterative process of corruption facilitating difference is present in the Enki Myth where it is only after Enki's sickness, the corruption introduced by Asherah, that the cycle is broken and recreated in a different resonant flavour. We might ask what the value of truth is? Is number necessarily existent?

find the star kochab and start playing beyblade while meditating on it.

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>>13 (OP) 
Banishings generally aren't my style. I've always tried to cultivate space that selects for what I want. Influences that return are of the quality I desire, if for no other reason than that I can depend on them being there for me in the future. I don't know how you could do divination without aligning yourself with a flux of influences in the first place, so I don't understand what your concern is. Everything affects everything else through cascading events anyway, so why would slicing off a portion give you a better feel? If I was interested in a precise science of knowledge I wouldn't be divining with cards. Best to order influences through an intensive series, but I prefer to just have the order they present when I'm asking. I'm not sure what purpose an external influence card would serve. I always incorporate the card at the bottom of my deck in my own spreads and other wise as either a bit of extra information I might want to know, or a clarification about some aspect of the reading. At the end of the day you have to trust in chance, and if you don't, what is it you think you're tapping into?
I would consider a much greater concern to be exhausting the favour of what it is I've selected for by asking the same things over and over, or asking too often in general. When your answers seem wrong you might have tired out the forces. it might just be time to take break like you're doing.

>>15
I know there are a lot of practitioners of divination who choose to commune with specific sets of entities if not a particular one to do their divining. Some people go to great lengths in preparation of their materials for the specific reason thet they want to select fo those things specifically and keep out influences that might not share their interest. What exactly is chance to you and why would it be something reliable to tap into?

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>>22
It is the happening element that connects everything. The crease along which reality is folded

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>>23
The predominant scientism saturated western sensibility discounts, even demonizes, weighting the meaning of synchronicity. Directly observable cause & effect are privileged as the only means to make relations between events acceptably accessible. The Yi Jing, however, is meant to map connections of a different kind. Often translated as *The Book of Changes*, "Changes" inadequately represents the unpredictability of the events it seeks to relate. Yi arrives when we have lost our bearings, what once was a useful method of orienting ourselves no longer applies. The sensibility that penned this book, this oracle, gleans meaning off random events, items of pure chance; a qualitative notion of time which allows all events occurring in unison to be embedded with information that spans its entirety. Understanding of the pattern can be pulled from any detail of the moment

"The way in which the ocular use of the Yi Jing relates to the configuration of events at any given moment is therefor more akin to the perception of a work of art than to the rational analysis of cause and effect."

In his forward to the translation of the Yi Jing by his friend Richard Wilhelm Jung* Describes the "Chinese mind" as being "exclusively preoccupied with the chance aspects of events", a rich tapestry of meaning interconnected as an organic whole, and in their interest in these subtler more complex less 

>>162
I don’t think you understand Legatos' character well at all. You’re trying to take everything they do in isolation, but all of Legato's actions are taken in relation to the unfolding situations that are Vash and Knives. Legato tortures Vash for the sake of Knives, his dream, and his affection for Vash. That certainly isn't NOT a reason. Legato wants vengeance upon Vash for almost killing Knives with his angel arm in July. A desire intensified through his love for Knives. And despite having left Knives for dead twice, Legato lives with the constant awareness of Knives' persisting preference for Vash grafted onto his flesh. The right arm that hangs at his side was once Vash’s and so is at once both what allows him to reside at the side of his beloved Knives, and a reminder that the position he holds is only through the wound created by Vash’s rejection of Knives. The loss of the arm is a wound central to the relation of Vash, Legato, and Knives. Betrayal and disappointment, the agony of never having your affections be returned. Legato plays host to a very special kind of hatred for Vash, and unleashes a very specific brand of violence because of this. Unable to eliminate Vash without destroying something the one he loves would not do without Legato proceeds by inflicting psychological torture upon the stampede. Able to kill anyone but Vash, Legato places the target on Vash’s refusal to take any life whatsoever. N

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>>162
>>164
Vinnins vill-ins vilanus. I m sew cool b cause I am so Heinous. Icy you justifying your admiration on the edge. They cant be cool because you like what they do, they can only be neat cuz ppl dont like it too. A cloaked up ‘this is what i like to see’, well okay fren. Gotta- Be- Bad? SA2 dark boi slogan, I can respect that. Angels to some and demons to others? can’t we get beyond good an evil? 

A Character that doesnt revel in malevolence or emanate the infallible, one who knows who thye are and what theyre about. XIII Train Heartnet, Black Cat and deliverer of Bad Luck. A sweeper by trade neither neither bound by the law of order nor defining themselves wholly against it. Placed her not just because I dig him, but to highlight an echoic resonance with the type of manga in mention. A hero and a dark rival once united are driven by a relation of obsession & loss of someone dear. So many share this formula you might even call it stolen, but the contrasts which im sure you can find yourselves are excellent and held in a trifecta. Chronos, The Apostles of the Stars, and Trains group of sweepers variously at odds with either. Aring that extends beyond dark and light knives/vash in embrace of twilight. 

Orphaned and raised to be a member of the states elite assassin core, Chronos, Train is no stranger to murder. Hades, a revolver marked with his number for what he delivers. Inside he meets creed who holds train in the highest esteem and a maddening love. Cold hearted and paired with a stare that freezes blood in the veins, creed ses him as his own cruel entirety blossoming in an attraction no smaller than destiny. No one else has made him feel such a glorious vibration. Ruthless with skills beyond match, the values Creed admires, and the only connection which he will allow himself. 

Through a stroke of luck, however, train has a chance meeting with Saya, a sweeper who is able to open the heart which he was forced to close.  Compassionate and open in a strength of love she is more than capable with a gun herself. Swaying train to take the risk and abandon Chronos, Creed takes notice of the changes taking place in Train repulsed by the warmth this whore is growing inside him. Rather than attempt to understand the changes, and incapable of seeing himself there any longer, Creed slays her in an attempt to return Train to his ‘’true self’’, merely solidifying Trains committal to dissension. 

Having abandoned chronos and now a stray Train dawns a collar and begins his life as a sweeper on the path that Saya had opened his eyes to.

Creed in pursuit of Train, as the only person he sees as his equal falls away from Chronos and founds the Appostles of Stars. A group he heads ruthlessly resecting only those who show exceptional skills with their talents, and in kind using the power of Tao* to unlock members latent abilities. Devoted to making a new world based on the values of superiority Creed makes war on Chronos. 

Creed makes two more attempts to force Train to join him. The first, unconfident in his new way of life Train removes his collar and returns to his former attitudes intent on killing Creed as hes sees it as the only way to compete with his new abilities. Sacrificing his arm to see identify the location of his invisible blade Train is able to temporarily defeat him and escape with Sven and Eve and luckily able to have it sewn back on as well. 

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i love how this thread is about a side quest becoming a main quest  which is immediately derailed to becomes something far more interesting than if it hadn't been.

>>173
Jesus! What the fuck is wrong with black cat? that's the kind of bad time that made Griffith go eclipse.

>>205
Yeah.
 I think that's why in the anime they changed what happened to him. Creed ends up recovering and joining forces with Train to fight the Cronos numbers. Which, I think, on some level makes more sense. If it wasn't for the attempt to create a group of superior people that would rule over everyone else, Creed's opposition to Cronos' stagnant control would be commendable. but as it stands, in the manga, he ends up having to be just "like everybody else". So, I think we wan assume that the shock must eventually wear off, even if he has trouble with it at the beginning. I'm not sure its quite as bad as you're indicating. Echidna is certainly still there for him at the very least. its also clear that Train feels the numbers shouldn't be in control and that his interest lies in disruption, not maintaining some new superior ordering. That's present in his character and his insistence in being privately contracted for jobs he's okay with, the whole idea of sweepers. besides, that's hardly the most change in the anime, which is much more quirky and changes up the majority of how everyone meets. Sven for example is hardly a serious character at all in the anime, where as in the manga, he's easily the most serious except when train is returning to his previous habits to stop Creed.

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>>131
imagine only realizing just now that the post you reply to changes how things turn out? You weren't actually asking to leave but at least you got your answer.
acting on instinct is potent, but you dont know what results youre going to be getting. the first time was a mess, the second time a disaster, im glad you didnt fire anything this third time.
this post is filed right, but the attachment was foolish. 
it was nice of them to repair your car. If youre out now that will suck, but its not like you can pass the buck. You said how you felt and thats real. that at least you cant regret.
Just wanted to walk away for a bit, but i guess thats a no do can do now.
make some effort to grow for me please? now that you've been granted the ability to lose.

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>>131
will this really be the one that defines the flavour of the era?

Any form of communal existence arises from the individual, just as any species is derived from the examination of however many individuals. Bundles of significantly insignificant  points infinitely divided, & yet producing a mesh of mutual definition, each what it is because of its relation to so many others, across which flows a resonant sea evoking anything which would be greater. isolated, and yet communicating in forms that can never become static. all connected & still remain alone outside of the creative nothingness which draws them together, with the threatening promise of the primal annihilation which always births something new.

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>>131
You've done very very well I'd say. I've seen you get better, I think you'll pull through. Hell, pull it off even

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>>11 (OP) 
Something great and new.

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>>56

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To those dropping spam.
Nobody is forcing you to play. You don't owe us anything. If you want to stick around great. I'm glad you like us. We're glad to have you. idk why else you would come here. It takes time to prepare a proper circus, and all we have wanted for a while is the space and time to make things we are proud of. Here's your sign of life if that's what you were after. We won't be afraid to post, you don't own us, we aren't cancer, we are hardly even edgy. You want us to work hard let us do it. IDK why you're all always in such a hurry. Does my blood really taste that good?

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>>143
9 times out of 10 something is better than nothing. 
Practice > perfection
Clear the chambers continue circle back 
Spiral of improvement

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>>56
The psychic kind probably? Idk anon, I would like to invigorate people rather than drain them. 
When I made that post I really thought I must be a vampire and that's why I had so much trouble getting along with the group of internet ppl I was hanging around. I definitely went through a period of the world was amazing and I was somehow exceptionally terrible or disfuntional, sometimes I'm still there but less than I used to be. Now I feel I'm being artificially* persuaded to think the world must be terrible even if I don't think I'm that good. Honestly wonder if what I have would qualify with what I've seen recently.

Sorry I didn't reply earlier, I was unsure exactly how best to just didn't. Your reply detailed and complete, I didn't have much to ask or add. I especially found it hard because I didn't have a clear place to disagree, which is where I usually find it easiest, and maybe that is a vampiric tendency?

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What job?

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You know the secret one, the one at the invisible MacDonalds? the combination pizza hut and taco bell? the one where they pay you by mind raping you with twitter memes or art related to what you’re doing? Something to make you feel real special? Tweets by people subtly referencing you with the kind of stuff they could only know from wire taps or screen captures? The kind of stuff that would make you feel crazy so you grow dependent upon them for your sanity? That kinda stolckholm sticky where they make you love it and tell you're sick if you don’t? Zombie makers who wouldnt go zombie themselves? The feeders, the filmers, the vanishing banishers? You know the law? That job. 
You didn’t fall asleep on me did you? You know you have to be awake to dream here.

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Playing majong is a job?

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Well it certainly isnt a game, that kind of shit is waaay too serious.

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>>95
This but as revenge

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>>88 (OP) 
are you crazy for a reason?

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>>88 (OP) 
>>95
>>109
>>112
Please stop throwing rocks at your friends. Please start to work on controlling your emotions. Even if she feels the same way, those feelings aren't going to be what makes the difference. What's going to make the difference is you putting the work in on yourself. That's it. That's the only real salvation. Please appreciate how much has been done for you. Please. Even if she doesn't end up liking you. Even if you die in the river. You have to work on yourself and how you relate to people. Learn to sit with your feelings and become less volatile. You have to. You have to.

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When everything means so much but none of it makes sense to you
When you're day drinking blue moon cross faded on gorilla glue
When you're scared it's a trick any time someone is being nice to you

When it involves numbers, wire taps, water/beer, eating, kdeath

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>>135 (OP) 
more for me

I wonder what it would be like to be somebody who wrote or arranged romantic stuff. It seems like it would fucking suck. You'd either have to keep some wound open so you could keep fishing stuff out of it, or destroy all your relationships as a hobby just to get new material. Do you think those people are fulfilled? I wonder what their relationship statistics look like. I know philosophers have a reputation for not being married, or at least not to other people. They all seem to have a lot to say about love though, I know Plato has some irrelevant number of kinda of it he defines. Splitting hairs maybe splitting things in two. Ironic for talk of relationships, splitting, but that's what refinement has always been. Just because something is lost doesn't mean you didn't have it, infact some things can only be true at a place an time. Does "the one" exist is pretty big question, could be more than one? But you'd be lucky to have more than being single, hell anyone would. That's why that shit seems so magical, chance, happenstance, destiny; if that shit doesn't change the world it certainly will change yours when it happens. Breathe life into things you thought were dead, bring colours out, make you thrilled just to be, even if that being is sometimes agony. Hell it's mostly agony or it wouldn't have such a powerful effect, not because that's all that's there, but because it becomes more than what's just there. Something beyond that draws with a special quality that escapes captu

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>>136 (OP) 

I'd love to say "Thanks Nep", but this doesn't really give me much to go on about this guys philosophy.

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For you, I'll make an effort

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>>9
thank you anon, now it is the two of us

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And now the silence is forever

>>111
It wasn't true then, but maybe this time they really did go

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Bring the heat. 
When all seems lost in the cold damp victory seemingly arrives from out of nowhere. Maybe not in the shape you were expecting, hell at this point you probably weren't expecting to make it out at all, but it a w all the same. look forward to it if  you're not there already.

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"oh my gosh!" 

"well what the heck?" 

"how unexpected."

That's the kind of stuff you're gonna be spewing here pretty soon good buddy. Ch-ch-chAnges. tide comes out, tide goes in. things flow, cycles exist.  best not to get too attached. Them yinny yangs is commin & i hope you're feeling lucky punk. cuz shit is happenen and you don't get to not be a part of it.

dw tho it will bring you closer to life's porpoise

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Revelation & Insight

Even moonless nights have some light although cloud cover might make that hard to believe. Some might even say this light  is prettier. Hope exists even when ideals are lost and dreams are shattered. The strength to push on exists for those who care to find it.

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FIRE FIRE FIRE! on the brain in your mind more than likely. you've journeyed long and hard to reach this point! Celebrate with your new companions mental fatigue and multiplicative psychoses who have volunteered to keep you company. fret not, however, as you near the end of the experience loop to a less vulnerable state of mind. Don't forget to take tasks slow 'n' steady, and be careful not to bite off more than you can chew desu.

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⛧⛧⛧⛧⛧⛧

Wealth, reward abundance
earthly harvest with more fruit than expected. Plenty enough to share, and its coming your way if its not your own.
Make use of the resources as you like, there's more than enough to go around.