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What's your most accursed diety?
Where are they from?
How long have they been following you?
I had an acid trip once where Idididil/Ididid asked if I wanted to talk. Of course I let fear get the better of me pussied out. A shamefully missed opportunity; have been looking for a way to talk to it sense.
Replies: >>47 >>97
It's okay, some gods are terrifying by nature. i'm sure you'll have another opportunity anon!

we have a somewhat strange relationship with a fear deity. i also have trouble communicating with them due to them being scary, but it is okay, slowly stuff will work out i'm sure. you just gotta prepare for your encounters.
Replies: >>26
I met a 'demon queen' in a mirror whilst on a potent mix of psychedelics and mdma once that made an awful lot of promises to me about how good my life would be if we joined forces and I and she merged together. So I said "sure". Then I never really saw her again, so I think it's safe to say that I and she merged together and are inseparable, that we became one-thing at that point, a new kind of being, a new identity. I have tried "meeting with her" again many times since and have always ended up meeting other things.
e.g.
demons who were not her, all manner of spirits, other acid demons, planetary archangels, the spirit of the feeling of cool water on my forehead.

p.s. if you're out there let's chat! but I think you're 'in-here' and actually you are me
>>19
Thank you.
I'm glad you think I'll get another chance. I worried I never would. The linked media is what I had been using to attempt o make contact up till now with no luck. Lack of preparation might be a real issue though. That, and seeking might not be the right way to go about this. Fear is the kind of thing that likes to sneak up on you. I'll work on being ready to step into it when it arrives, seeing what its like to sit with its like to sit with it and not look away. I would to be there to meet my next blessed opportunity.

https://youtu.be/kkzc5mY9LIM
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You don't contact something like that by taking actions, but by recieving them. Insisting on trying to grasp something at the edges is only going ruin you or what you're groping for. Feel it and act, don't trust your eyes, you're alone now, even amoung friends. I'm sorry.
Replies: >>47
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>>46
What an awful thing to tell someone. If they want to find it they need to dive head first into the snake pit. Obviously you don't grasp at snakes. Obviously your sight isn't what's going to give you a good sense of surroundings like that. You feel snakes by letting them slither all over, around, and through you. There's simply no time to fuck around waiting for action to find op, they need to go to where action is to feel it. To swim inside it. Slither with it. To become one with the movement they need to fall into their fear and embrace the extacy that an unreserved encounter with what they're chasing provides. Feel it act/react repeat. If they won't risk drowning they'll never proceed. And so even if they're never amoung friends they're still never alone. 
>>18 (OP) 
Go on and chase the horrors op. No guarantee they'll wait for you if you won't, but some guaranteed regrets for you if you don't.
Replies: >>63
>>47
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no one wants to hear you remember?
And yet here you are. Talking. Clearly YOU want to be heard. Perhaps that's what matters. Chicken shit.
>>18 (OP) 
think back
you know what it offered even without talking
at the height of our worst you would have accepted it
roll some dice on a physical table
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I don't know about accursed, but ive recently fallen into a fascination with Belial.

According to the key of Solomon Belial is summoned to grant offices and gain favor with friends and foes. They appears as two beautiful angels in a flaming chariot, and proudly declares they were the second to fall after Lucifer. Other texts place them as the ruler of the second dark world. They are a well known deceiver, double timing two faced, which reinforced my perception of their affinity with the number 2. 

While some speculate that Belial is a god form from Babylon, given that Bel= Lord and Al=god; and while not mutually exclusive, it is certainly the case that when used in the bible the name comes from the is derived from the Hebrew word for worthless or useless. I's sometimes debate weather Belial is a proper name for a daemon at all be cause of this. Most instances of its usage are in relation to the sons or daughters of Belial, or the useless sons and daughters. though 2 Corinthians 6:14-15 does place Belial in direct opposition to Christ.

14 Do not be yoked with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wicked ness have in common? Or what fellow ship can light have with darkness?
15 what harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What harmony is there between a believer and an unbeliever

There are some extraneous texts to the bible that seem to support this conclusion. The Testament of the 12 Patriarchs, for example, again places Belial in direct opposition to god as a tempter, and the Ascension of Isiah places them as a lawless ruler of the Earthly world. Similarly the _Dead Sea Scrolls_ depict Belial as the Leader of the Army of Darkness in the cosmic war against the light. The Testament of Arman reconfirms this by placing Belial in opposition to the Michael in the war. IT also grants him the titles of "Price of Darkness" and "King of Evil", titles later falsely granted to Lucifer. Belial is constantly placed with the most powerful of demons, alongside Lucifer, Leviathan, Satan, Asmoday and Bileth. The Pseudomonarchia Daemonum credits them with being the seducer of all other angels that fell. A fitting accusal for the deity supposedly worshipped at Soddam and Gammorah. There are also those that claim Belial (Bel-Al) as the Dark personification of Ein Soph. 

This last one is of significant personal interest to me. I have been thinking of the initial catastrophe and the fall from the garden. Originally Adam Kaddamon was created to distribute divine light down through the Tree of Life, but when the top three sephirot captured the light they were shattered and 288 divine sparks dropped into the abyss in which Lucifer fell. Later, when the fruit of knowledge is consumed, the garden that was previously defined by a stagnant static unity beyond borders is infected by death. Adam Kaddamon falls and becomes Adam Belliayyal, the useless, subject to all constrictions of the material realm of Malkuth. Adam and Eve become cursed by god to be slaves to utility, forced to toil the earth for their bread.

Kaddamon being Belial would place them in them in the proper order to be the second fallen and from a height even above that of Lucifer, additionally explaining the pride in the declaration of being second (though why ought we give primacy to one anyway?). They're in an order to be the seducer of the other angels as well, agreeing well with their reputation of deception. It places them in a proper role of opposition to Michael, the yellow sun, being the former distributor of the divine cosmic light itself now fallen into darkness. As a rebellion against God and Christ, being a deity of uselessness they fight against the condition of imposed utility. A condition which the pursuit of knowledge is able to offset by freeing excess beyond that which must be maintained for the continuation of base life. Interestingly when Da'ath falls from the tree into the abyss the perfect state of knowledge becomes altered. It is now accompanied in a state of desire, of pursuit, where it is acquired to change oneself and the environment. When Adam and Eve eat the fruit of knowledge they become like gods, able to create, as death, change, enters the garden. It is then easy enough to surmise that the divine sparks that fell into the abyss were death, which allows for the change in the state of knowledge. Destruction which is required for creation. Temptation for which is carried by the serpent into the garden. Some Gnostic sects claim the serpent as the savior, bringing knowledge and creation to human kind, and freeing them of the stagnant state to which they had been placed by god. Is is simply then common sense to see Belial as the origin of this salvation through change, through chance, as the origin of the sparks, and the punishment they received.
Replies: >>104
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>>98
Oh neat.

I'm a bit of a fan of Belial myself. Although, I really only know of them through Angel Sanctuary. I think they're a really fascinating character, even if the manga itself is only so so. The whole manga is full of forbidden romances, which shouldn't be all that surprising since the whole story centers around the main character's, Setsuna, pursuit of his biological sister.  While many of the romances that happen in the manga are of a tragic nature where the lovers are separated by time death or duty; (Setsuna, being the savior, of course defies all of these to reunite with his little sister) Belials is particularly tragic because their love has been unrequited since the beginning. Lucifer's most loyal servant and madly in love  with him, Belial spends the first half of the series trying to save the hell that their lord has vanished from. Lucifer melded their flesh with the plane before vanishing and now the only thing that maintains the space is a series of blood sacrifices made in his honor. upon the 999th hell would become stable. This is a task that Belial is particularly well suited for since, as your post stated, they are a master of deception and likable even by the standards of their enemies. Making every effort to maintain androgyny, Belial is notably attractive and has a series of relationships men and women throughout the series. So much so in fact that this is how they fell in contact with Lucifer in the first place. During one of their more egregious orgies Lucifer stumbles in to find Belial awash in blood cum and corpses. In a fit of disgust Lucifer berates them for being a whore and states that the world would simply be a better place if the little poison butterfly they are were simply to snap their own neck rather than bring everyone else around them down. "is this really the best way you can think to defy god?" and with that Belial was smitten. Enraptured with his hate for them with no goal left in life but to turn it into love. "Those that hate the strongest are capable of loving the most". For Belial it is simply about the flip the small instant of happiness where they know for certain that the one they love fully and truly returns their affection. For this moment they have put to death 998 women with whom they had shared a mutual love. Their 999th selection, Kurai the young dragon master of the Evils clan, happens to be the only other character whose love is eternally unrequited. Kurai happens to be in love with the savior himself, but being the hero he is Setsuna could never have eyes for anyone but his sister Sarah. Baited with the false promise of brining satsuma back to life (in reality the offer simply turns Setsuna into an immortal ghoul who must consume others lifeforce inorder to survive), Kurai agrees to become Luficers bride. Kurai and Belial share a true love of a kind, a mutual attraction, and a genuine affection. Belial makes a real effort to give Kurai the tools she needs to seduce Setsuna and steal him from Sarah, but she is incapable of following through. After the ritual falls apart and Kurai escapes Belial swears to come to her aid whenever they are called, and does not fail to do so. Kurai is the only character Belial confides in for the entire series, giving an expose on the nature of their romance with their lord. Something which Kurai declares as incredibly sad, and I cant say I really disagree. Kurai is probably correct that what Belial wants is flip, but rather the happiness of Lucifer in general. Perhaps the unrequited nature of  Kurai's love is why she survives, Belial seems to put significantly less effort into assuring the completion of the ritual than they could have. They are more than a match for Setsuna. I imagine this kindered nature is what saved her in the end. Though it may also have been Belial's desire to be taken by their lord, and their frustration that their physical form invalidated them from being the final sacrifice.
Replies: >>105
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>>104
You know? I am getting real tired of low effort posters like you dropping off topic nonsense in these threads. your word choice is banal and repetitive, your grammar is terrible, and your punctuation is not only non standard but increases reading difficulty. Is it that much to ask that you take the time to edit before you post? Honestly we are a high brow, high quality, high seriousness organization; and I can't imagine people are going to take us with the gravity we deserve when you clowns keep tossing out offerings like this. Manga is hardly literature. so at least have the decency to make your own thread for this trash, and leave the rest of us to have our adult discussions about esoterica in peace.
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Lucifuge Rofocale

AKA Tarchimache¹  the light fearing top ranking bureaucrat of hell², Lucifers #1 fan boy and bringer of absolute stupidity. This guy has deep pockets, collects giant rings, and looks like a jester. In the Grand Grimoire he's described as a go between for those who wish to make a pact with Lucifer³, , and is personally endowed with the capacity to both turn you invisible and make girls fall in love with you.⁴ Lucifuge is also noted to be the ruler of Satriel (8)⁵ on the Qliphotic tree of death. The place of absurdities and intellectual mysteries where darkness becomes light, time destiny and fate are intertwined and the draconian principle is realized. Gha’asheblah (7)⁶ becomes important in relation to Satriel through the Abyss that separates the top 3 Qliphoth from the rest of the tree. According to Qabalah, Qliphoth and Goetic Magic consists of passing through 11 stages of the Qliphotic tree. Similar to the sumerian myth of Inanna/Ishtar passing through the seven gates to the underworld, the adept loses an aspect of the tree of life at each of the first seven Qliphoth as Innana lost a piece of clothing at each gate. Arriving at the seventh qliphoth Gha’asheblah, the entrance of the abyss, naked. Passing through the Abyss strips away what was and makes divine, if permanent failure is to happen it will happen here. The lessons learned at Gha’agsheblah ought prepare the adept for a successful crossing. Lust and suffering freely passing in and out of one another. Death transformed into life, rebirth through Eros. When entering the abyss the adept, like Ishtar, experiences a death. Here Choronzon consumes the corpse of their limited self and failed adept will not proceed 


Choronzon rules the abyss and is associated with current 333⁸  which also happens to be the anglossa Qabbalah⁹ equivalent of Dark Enlightenment. A gematria system and movement both spearheaded by one Mister Nickolas Land. Interestingly¹⁰ Choronzon is a demon of dispersion and dispersion is something that a large portion of mister Lands work has centered around.¹¹ This dispersion is realized in Thelma, a cult in part developed by A. Crowley¹²  though the embrace of a love that carries us through a complete loss of ego, a ruthless annihilation of everything we once were. Where failure arrives as a complete and incurable insanity of unsortable overly associated sensory input.¹³ 

The absolute and obsessional stupidity of love then is what brings an individual to the otherside where dark turns to light and we begin to see clearly in the shadows. Lead through the Tunnels by Lucifuge to meet the underworld ruler.
 


¹And here marked as a deputy of Belzebuth ((Stratton-Kent)
²Presumably likes shadows
³ (Belanger) 193
⁴ Kind of sinister
⁵ Equivalent of Binah, understanding, (3) on the sephirothic tree of life.(Karlsson 2019)
⁶(Karlsson 2019)
⁷ ibid
⁸ (Karlsson 2019; rune logix ; Choronzon 2004)
⁹AQ of note 
Dark Enlightenment = 333 = Cain Abel & Knuckles = Continual rebirth = Rainbow Happiness  
Choronzon = 209 = Sega Genesis
¹⁰or perhaps uninterestingly
¹¹ (Capitalism and the Abyss 2021)
¹²A grumpy looking man with a pyramid hat who repurposed the peace sign for Ashley Ketchum
¹³(Capitalism and the Abyss 2021)

Belanger, M. The Dictionary of Demons: Names of the Damned. 2021.
“Capitalism and the Abyss.” Tumblr, 3 Apr. 2021, https://baroquespiral.tumblr.com/post/647476484642062336/capitalism-and-the-abyss.
Choronzon. Wikimedia Foundation, Inc., 13 July 2004, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Choronzon.
Karlsson, Thomas. Qabalah, Qliphoth and Goetic Magic. 2019.
“Rune Logix.” Rune Logix, https://runelogix.typepad.com/my_weblog/2005/11/demitria_monde_.html. Accessed 5 Dec. 2022.
Stratton-Kent, Jake. The Trve Grimoire: Encyclopaedia Goetica. 2010.
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