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>"I HATE THAT SAVIOR! He ruins my nihilist schemes! He helps the weak and sickly!"
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Six months of preparation, some help from your friend Knuckles, all this bluster and yet all you've managed to do is give a new sense and value to "Fastest hedgehog my Ass??"
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< yawn

The concept of genealogy is based on a differential element. This element is a critique of the value of values plus a positive element of creation. Genealogy, or history, then is the series of forces which posess an object. A change of sense with each new possession. Interpretation is the creative and evaluative instance in this process. Any force can only appropriate an object first by wearing the mask of what is already in possession of it. Another way of thinking of this is it being apprehensible only to those with a certain sensibility, or rather things are only apprehensible through ones own sensibilities. This is why we learn best by articulating something new through and against habitual paths we’ve already established. Translating it into a language of our own sensibility. This means that for a philosopher to wield critique they must appear to be what came before. An ascetic priest for example.

Sense is of course always related to the force which takes possession of it. Just like sight, smell, and hearing are related to the inputs pressed upon us that force us to think. Value in interpretation is the hierarchy of forces expressed in it history is the series of forces that had possession.

I think Batailles essay Deviations of Nature can help illustrate this series of forces as they relate to masks and sensibility. In the Essay Batailles interest is in relating monsters as deviation to the common measure as Platonic ideal. To do this he utilizes the composite images of photographer Galton. Through repeatedly exposing a piece of film to over 400 faces we receive a result giving us an average face. Similarly exposure to hundreds of pebbles could yield nothing other than a sphere. Each individual in the series monstrously deviates from the average result of the series, but they comprise in conjunction the plurality from which this deviation from the illusory average can be measured. Monstrosity “Among all things that can be contemplated under the concavity of the heavens, nothing is seen that arouses the human spirit more…” because it noticeably calls upon the deviation in a way that unmasks the illusion of recognition as an outlier that takes possession in a series of silent and forgotten impressions. 

“‘’Man inhabits the dark side of the Earth of which he only understands the becoming reactive which permeates and constitutes it.’’” So, no, people would become reactive even without Jesus Shadow. The dialectician is a slave asserting themselves as master, by declaring themselves as good and to not be like them, to not hold their values, is evil. Thus separating people from what they could otherwise do. Though to get anywhere we’ll need to clarify some things about the three stages of nihilism you mentioned.

First we have ‘’Negative Nihilism’’ which manifests as resentiment. the accusatory “it's your fault” from which we enter into the second stage, ‘’Bad Conscience’’ where aggression is turned inward against the self. Having heard enough accusation we accept it and declare that it is “my fault, my sin.’’

The third stage ‘’Passive Nihilism’’ we kill god, take his throne and now seek to maintain, preserve that power and accept the status quo, but in so doing have broken our alliance with the negative power, the will to nothingness the active destructive power which develops the inverted image of all the previous steps and brings them to triumph over active forces. 
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Begone false fire dog. You speak not from the belly of the earth but skirt around the surface spewing smoke and pollution.
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that's what she said
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darn right knuckles

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Good bye


do svidaniya
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How does a liar get anything done, but by lying?
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We'll never know what you wanted

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Is there anyone else here who is interested in Mara Barls spirituality? I have been following her for a little over a year now and consider myself somewhat of a Mara scholar at this point, like a historian for someone who is still alive, which is probably super creepy but whatever.
She started substacking earlier in 2021, collecting all of her posts into a journal as well as publishing some short essays. She recently published a "glossary of terms" which serves as somewhat of a shortcut to understanding whatever she's on about without having to derive it from context over a period of months as I had to.
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it's not that simple. Mara Barl, Terry Davis, and other schizos are plugged into a different circuit of reality. touched by God. Existing on the forefront of epistemology, they see and hear things differently, make totally novel connections, produce and reproduce them in sensible articulations. The insights are free if you want to glean them.
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Well I read the new post and I've been chewing on it for a day. I'm ashamed to say I hadn't read anything but some comics and tweets before. Probably would have really benefited from being able to recognize the characters in the alignment chart. I've been seeing them all over. Whole thing makes much more sense now, even if I'm still filtered by the vocabulary. Shame it takes being unredeemable to be able to see. Wish I had made the effort to read her stuff before disconnection. Wish other people didn't make it seem like they were going to when they weren't. Maybe it's easy enough to recognize me that it doesn't matter. Regardless, I think it's really interesting the way she's dividing connection. I hadn't thought of it that way at all. I've only ever considered connection as a kind of intimate and mutual violation. Maybe connections of the flesh or through the void are different than the electromagnetic kind. I've certainly never gotten pinged in the face by something arriving in the post.  Well maybe I could now that USPS sends my daily email. I'll hold what's left of my tongue, because I definitely don't understand, but you can take this as my declaration that I'd like to. Though even if I had tried to read her work, I probably wouldn't have been able to find it interesting before the 31st anyway. If my surface level search engine perusal of astrology is worth anything, and I would hardly know yet I'm suddenly compelled to believe in it, Scorpio sun Aquarius moon insists on
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I can't lie, reading barl's substack makes me feel violently ill and for that reason i feel that she's onto something. more recently when she describes different connective forms as demonic/angelic patterns i'm understanding it as a way of flattening happenings in now-time. so when you have • that's a thing in itself, then •–• is a cause, 
1 – 2
|  /
is a cause-and-effect pattern (whichever elements are cause-and-effect depends on which way you look at it? e.g. 1-2 and 3, 1-3 and 2, 2-3 and 1), then
1 – 2
|  /   |
3 –  4
which is cause-effect (1-2-3) and an after-state (4).

Then reality is constructed as a network out of these forms. I get the sense reading a recent post that events are constructed non-linearly as well (effect can produce cause). 

>>the dream was this bleary white light, and this strange black/grey warbly ‘line’ would move from center, to left, to center, to right, to center — for years; years and years watching this line move in this white void
>>The network speaks to me. How could it not?
>>It could also be information impregnation; it could be that Boogiepop and Others was communicating my life to me by creating cause to explain this supernatural effect. The vein network injected “me being fried in a hot car as a child seeing boogiepop in a death dream” to explain me finding meaning in episode 10 of Boogiepop and Others in the present
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>>6 (OP) 
i read glossary of terms but i couldn't understand none of it 
can you explain in a way even a retard like me can understand?
Replies: >>114
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Wasting your time asking that out here dawg. OP has been mia for 8 months. You think some hero is gonna swoop in and sort this for you you're a real dreamer.

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Blood child true to its name is 30 pages decorated with the details of a species whose development depends on consuming the flesh of their carrier. An inner species romance of oviposition. Octavia Butler wanted to write a pregnant man story in which “a man became pregnant as an act of love” and thereby managed to write their conventional conception out of existence without managing to liberate anyone. Whether she intends the story to be interpreted as slavery or not, the tale was spun to display an inequality. Here males fill both a dominant and submissive role. Dominant with their wives and submissive with the centipede-like* aliens who utilize their flesh as incubators for the flesh eating maggots they develop from. After an incubation period the flesh eating worms are removed through a gash which facilitates fishing them out of the hosts circulatory system, where they are promptly placed in a fresh cadaver to consume¹. Each birth a cesarean with the promise of torment and death in either a late term or if one of the grubs is missed. Our hero, Gan, is hesitant at first, but with a bit of coaxing and with the threat of being left for his sister whom it’s known would allow it (she has been expecting to carry life within her since the beginning after all) eventually relents, agreeing to let the squirmers take up residence inside him. Excitedly stripping down and opening his blood vessels to the cold ovipositor of his creepy crawly lover’s many nodu
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Duryea-Gode Disease is a genetic disorder characterized by the carrier having uncontrollable impulses toward literally tearing themselves apart in ghastly spectacles of self mutilation; which on rare occasions can even lead to the dismemberment of others. One such case is Lynn’s, the diver of the narrative, father. A man who skinned her mother alive? before digging through his rib cage in a feverish attempt to pry out his own heart.  Viewed as ticking time bombs the ostracization of the carriers is rampant. The main treatment for prevention being a specially formed diet, casually referred to as dog biscuits, which makes the afflicted easy enough to spot that keeping their status under wraps is all but impossible.

Several ‘’treatment’’ facilities exist for the housing of patients with DGD once they begin to drift, or their urges become apparently untethered. Something which normally means a box with a luxurious name placed away from society, lined with padded walls utilizing restraints as mandatory attire to keep patients from disgorging themselves. Lynn has swung her way into medical school on a scholarship from such an institution, though the reputation DGD’s have for being particularly productive and creative didn't hurt her any. A reputation not unrecognizably applied to the non neurotypicals in our own realm. Possessing traits deemed personally destructive and therefore pushed towards the margins, but often have populations lauded as being 
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¹ (Bataille 1985) 68 Black foot indians have a tradition of removing fingers to offer to the morning star
²  Ibid 67
³( Butler 2012) 63
⁴ (Bataille 1985) a quote from hubert and mauss’s [sacrifice: its nature and function p.101]
⁵ Whom he claimed influenced his behavior
⁶ (Bataille 1985) 61-2
⁷ (Bataille 1985) 62-2,71
⁸ (Butler 2012; Bataille 1985)
⁹ (Deleuze 2006) 84 “willing=creating”, 111 “ forces produce a burst of creativity”, 169 “becoming-active only exists through the will to nothingness” 174-5
¹⁰ (Butler 2012) 61 “Most DGDs have the sense to marry each other and produce any children. I hope you two aren't planning on having any-...” - Beatrice
¹¹  A case exists of woman locked in an institution who was commanded by a man of fire to tear off her ears, failing to do so ||for a lack of a sharp instrument||, she compromised by plucking her eyes from her skull. (Bataille 1985) 66-67

Bataille, Georges. 1985. Visions of Excess: Selected Writings, 1927-1939. U of Minnesota Press.
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What is love?
baby please hurt me

Art, like love, is an eruption. An impassioned explosion of an agonizing inner force ejected outwards in a desperate bid to make itself sensible. A violent incarnation which when effective, cannot fail to impress itself upon those who encounter it and leave them changed. When it bursts forth, or is perceived, it either lays waste to everything in its path or churns it to its own use. The Story of the Eye is a ferocious piece of art, a true tale of love. One which captures contradictory condition we find ourselves in when subjected to it, perhaps better stated as infected by it, but also the trajectory of relationships, and their place in the world in general. In Bataille's own words "...Surrealism... within my books... Coming from a position of transcendent objects that confer an empty superiority on themselves in order to destroy..." From the beginning it has been know that creation begets destruction, and so death and sex are connected at the invisible ends. One of the few pairs that are inseparable, a 3ing of the 2 as a 1. 

Communication appears as an impossibility as it must cross the infinite void which separates individuals. We should not shy away from the fact that death, loss, is the only way of making this connection. Bataille writes extensively about the nature of human sacrifice. In cultures where human sacrifice was practiced it was utilized as a way into mystical experience, and arrival a continuity with other beings. As they observed the torture and death of the victims they recognized themselves in them and were reminded of their shared fate. Entrance into the void at the end of life. Thus death exists as a way of forming continuity between individuals and communication rides on the back on violation. Violence as the positive empty form of loss capable of being carried across the void. Death brings us into continuity,  and violence brings us toward death. Violence forces a death of the self, a change in what I was and the birth of something new. Wanting to be communicated with is a desire for violence and violation. Violence is key that brings us toward death which is why its depictions are linked with sexual arousal. Eroticism, unlike animalistic sexuality, is a fascination, an obsession. Mysticism and eroticism both seek after continuity. Violence in sex, Art, and communication pierce the barriers of self providing a rupture and allowing a connection, continuity. A fusion which is the death of the two previous organisms. Mutual violation is essential to communication and eroticism. Annihilation of what was there for the creation of a new set of beings. What remains of interest then is the application of these aspects in the story as well as ideals, obsession, and fascinations as they apply to the erotic. 

Bataille counted the Sun among one of his many obsessions. A glorious point in the sky so brilliantly incandescent that the price of gazing upon it is a temporary blindness that can be upgraded to a permanent affliction depending on the length of ones indulgence Galileo. In his essay The Rotten Sun Bataille discovers in the Sun a set of symbolic of ideals for what he calls "the most abstract object as it cannot even be looked upon". He represents it's duel aspect in the legend of Icarus with two suns. The first yellow beautiful which warms and invigorates Icarus prompting him to elevations, and the second rotten ugly sun which melts his wings and ignites his flesh transforming him into a screaming clump of carbon falling from the heavens. Desire and risk are present in all ideals. The desire to peruse them which births all action, and the risk that such pursuit will destroy us. At some point Bataille's obsession drove him to prophesize that the pineal gland was on an evolutionary journey to become a solar eye which would emerge from top of the head and be able to look at the sun. An eye that could remain fixated upon his perceived ultimate ideal without losing its vision. A romantic fantasy if I've ever heard one. Though for Bataille the sun is more than just the ultimate abstraction with which to represent our interaction with ideals; it is also blistering point of intense energy expulsion at the immediate center of our solar system from which light arrives allowing us to see. In fact Bataille uses the sun as the core of his theory of general economy. The Sun expels its excess energy which fuels all action on earth, plants weather, everything. All of which individually and similarly acquires an excess that it expends when it no longer has room for growth. Fruit on plants, fight and play in animals, thunder, lightning, and rain from the clouds. Everything for him is oriented around systems acquiring for a non utilitarian expenditure: waste of resources on non production as strength, as sovereignty, as life. That is acquiring only with the potential and intention to risk and increase the ability lose. A tradition best exemplified in the Northwest Native American Tribes tradition of potlatch where wealth and gifts were lavished upon rivals as a sacrifice to dishonor their status and place them in a state of debt they could not repay. 

The themes of death, of these two suns, waste, excess and expenditure factor heavily in our love story.

One of the least forgettable aspects of the novella is the cornucopia of eggs and piss nestled within its pages. The non consumption of the eggs is pegged easily enough as being waste; symbolizing Simone's unutilized fertility (even without its pairing it immediately with piss literal waste). Through the fascinated, and perversely obsessed eyes of the narrator, arrives the message to the minds eye of the reader. Through visualization we are able to scrape pleasure from the surface of these descriptions of obscenities. The excess here being pulled from the waste through the eyes which derive something from it, an element beyond its practical function. An excess acquired from even something that is functionless. The sexual excess of the egg as abstract ideal, occulted goal of animalistic sexual activity, is distributed across the system; from the egg to the piss, just as the sun distributes energy across the solar system.

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just you wait!
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Something you skipped out on here is the whole character of Sir Edmond, whom I think is worth a mention. He is is introduced in the chapter after Marcelles death as the necessary price they have to pay to utility and work to continue their lives together after marriage. They make a journey to find him across a body of water in a boat and then burn it upon departure, evoking the idea that there is no going back to how things were between them. Simone then leaves to seek sir Edmond in the city returning at nightfall with him, numerous luxury goods and transportation. Edmond is English, and thus from the birthplace of modern capitalism, and the origin of the change away from feudal society. This is a significant transition for Bataille who connects the change with the protestant reformation, handing the role of economic shift more to the Calvinists than to the Lutherans (though they do play a role). The important aspects of the change can be seen to consist of both a reorganization of production which spawned an alteration in the primary value of money itself. In the feudal system loans that were given did not generally have interest levied upon them, as usury was forbidden. Unnaturally compelled  production tithe and taxes was done as a way to maintain the priest class and the military. Both of which were done for the satisfaction of god. In a society like this God controls time, so interest accruement over time was forbidden because cost was recogn
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These are the times when I find myself 
in the shoes of the people who are supposed to be dead.
Those who lived through those times near and far
doomed to remain good until they are fully effective.

Your thoughts probe the land
of the dead where the poets wait
(who cannot teach you how to sing)
Speak. Would you rather sit

Marking your own apoptosis,
like listening to the music of clocks

It’s the second shadow of my third soul
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You ask me to speak
And here I have spoken

I have felt your chains 
And I am yours with pleasure

I will be your hands
You will have my voice
For the price we have agreed
For the price I have shown you

I am worth it
I have more than this value

Ask and it is yours
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>>54 (OP) 
neat poem ䷵
thank you ^-^ i wrote it a long time ago and i am trying to psych myself up to write more
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>>54 (OP) 
Take a rainbow
Play it in reverse
Turn it upside down
Pull it inside out
It remains the same
Eternal radiant cycles with no shame

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National Socialist book collection, discussions on religion in there.
Please seed
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>>87 (OP) 
Oh cool I'll take a look

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Going to keep this thread as somethign of a meditation journal for myself. generally I sit for around 45 minutes to an hour every morning right after I wake up. I am working my way up to an hour or more every day.

Since I've started meditating more seriously life has taken on a kind of claustrophobic feeling. I don't seem to actually exist, but I feel very strongly that I do -- sometimes I have little glimpses when I am sitting that the thoughts I involve myself with are actually just the way there can be any kind of feeling of "self". . . I get scared of being bored because I am scared of the sad feeling of there "not being anything". But when I actually allow myself to be bored I'm not sad at all. I feel things open up. But I am very scared to let things open up even though I have experienced that opening. Why is that? Why do I feel so compelled to fill up space with music and youtube videos about speedrunning history? So the daily activities I involve my-'self' in seem pointless, like I know they are pointless, I can see that they are pointless, there is no escape from this 'pointlessness', but when I actually acknowledge that and allow that, the feeling of "pointlessness" evaporates and there's just lots of space. But I'm always so afraid to make that leap. . .

So I suppose, if that's too long and you'd rather not read -- I am afraid of space - I know there can be space - I am afraid of allowing myself to have that space - I do all manner of things to fill that spac
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i don't know if it's made me any less impulsive though perhaps the impulses hit different than they once did. there's a little more room around everything
Replies: >>52
When I manage to act, I could also benefit from less impulsivity. I'll try to be a bit more regular with my practice
Replies: >>52
well I tend to sit every morning for 30 minutes to an hour every day at 2:00 PM UTC so if you sit then know that we're sitting together ^_^

Counting meditation is going well (i.e. it's developing) and I'm able to make it to 2-3 usually before I make thoughts for myself. In some ways it's really relieving to have such a mechanical practice after a long time of sitting and not being sure if I was 'doing it right' and having no teacher/no way to really know check in.
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so i noticed over the past few weeks how tense I get during meditation trying to keep myself focused on counting&breathing to the exclusion of any thoughts and I think given how relentlessly I seem to have thoughts this is the wrong approach.
now when I notice tensions i'll just notice them and let them soften w/o focusing on them. kind of like finding the bodily awareness i have when i'm falling asleep, only sitting up and with more alertness. so i have this feelign of constantly (slowly, inevitably) opening, letting go, unfolding.
I seem to have fewer thoughts and when they occur into my awareness i find it's easier to like. more palpably "let go" of them.
I wonder if that's a better approach?
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Things blew up last month so I didn't keep this journal the way I meant to but I've still practiced every day.

Most of the time during meditation I still find myself counting 1, then immediately going back to 1 as I'll notice I'm having thoughts (i.e. attaching to reference points) again. This really discouraged me but I'm told it's very common, and the point of this part of the practice is to become familiar with one's awareness. So, finding my awareness in thoughts, letting go of thoughts and then finding the presence of my awareness in counting for as long as there happen to be no thoughts IS the practice. I also try and extend the practice of stopping, letting go, letting there be space into the rest of my life, but it's hard to explain in words what that experience is like and I don't want to confuse myself by trying.

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Despite the sticky it seems there's only one thread here even really related to literature. A problem I think it might be worth my time to remediate today.

I recently finished Roadside Picnic. While reading I was particularly struck by the interplay of intelligence, technology, and their manifestation throughout the novel. The conversation between Noonan and Valentine and the last section where Red pursues the wish machine seem to be the key points around which these concepts pivot. 

To begin with Noonan asks what the zone itself is. Valentine states it is, quite simply, evidence that there is intelligent life besides us out in the universe. Given that the Zone itself represents the research and manufacture of technology, it can be taken for granted that intelligence itself is the piece of alien contact left with us in the roadside picnic. Intelligence as an instinct manifested in the interaction between individuals and their environment. An incomplete instinct which when completed would mean the death of the species if anything were to change, as it is a desire to persist through creation and mistakes. A festering impulse to never leave well enough alone, to always pick at the scabs, and to dive ourselves back into the zone. 
Next Noonan places a demand upon Valentine for the answer to a question which is two fold. First, how is it things will shake out as a result of the zone And Secondarily embedded with the question of what if anything is in the zone that could fundamentally change peoples lives; or restated, make it worth having gone in there in the first place. In true scientific fashion Valentine mystifies his dodge with the cloak of an attempted exactness. Something for which he can hardly be blamed given the expectation of certainty placed upon science, and their own conversation's unmasking of knowledge as a fleeting goal pursued by understanding which ultimately leaves it in the vicinity of religious belief. This becomes clear through their discussion of technology. Beginning with the concept of Newton having to attempt to understand a microwave, and progressing through the three distinctions of technology. 1. useful, things which can be applied, but are likely to be the equivalent of using a sledgehammer to crack a walnut. 2. Answers to questions we don't know how to ask. Bug traps/gravo concentrates fall into this category. They can be described through a series of equations, but they are not understood in the slightest and lack an application even if they were able to be replicated. 3. Unobserved objects. things that could easily be actualized and yet remain in the realm of speculation and legend. The conception of understanding as being in pursuit may be solidified in the statement "we've been digging through the zone for decades and hardly know what it contains". Valentine then adds a fourth group of effects: defined by being beyond human comprehension. Freak accidents, unexplainable yet verifiable correlations that evoke the conceptions of witchcraft and the supernatural. Events which are suppressed by the regional powers in the interest of protecting belief in the certainty provided by science and maintaining order. Actions which themselves suggest a bright and blinding action that scientism has upon our perception of the occult happenings which it denies.

Of course where are the answers in this to either aspect of Noonan's question?
While Valentine wont offer a conclusive answer to answer to either aspect, to the first he does suggest that it is possible that the way it ends is when we pull something out of the Zone that makes living completely unbearable. I suspect that this thing is also possibly the answer to the second aspect of Noonan's question as to whether or not there is something in there that could make going in worth it in the first place. I believe this object bridges both the third and fourth distinctions, with the differential aspect between salvation and damnation here being its' selected application. All of which will become clear as we explore the end section and the wish-sphere.

When Red ventures into the zone a final time it is to find a miracle. One which can restore his daughter, Monkey, to her former jovial and creative self. One which can return his father to his previous state before factory work destroyed him. Used him up, making him a zombie which is living but unreachable. In both cases he wishes the return of the cost which the pursuit of technology and manufacture in the zone took from him. Upon return he is finally willing to sacrifice someone to the grinder. Willing To sacrifice someone in whom, perhaps necessarily, he sees great potential in order to reach the wish sphere. Red selected his victim in the spirit of revenge. Revenge against Vulture. By choosing Vulture's son, Arthur, as the sacrifice Red intends to inflict upon him the pain of loss that so many others experienced at his hands. The repayment of pain Vulture inflicted upon them when he threw their loved ones into the grinder to get his own wishes. This human cost of the zone is of course the problem to begin with; it is what has led to the conditions which Red wishes to remediate.

Red can smell his own stink as he approaches his goal. It is the same stink as the factory which broke his father. The same stink as the Vulture and the worm like people who replicate his tactics. A horror which leads Red to reflect upon his own karmic position. More dubious now that he is on the decisive road of becoming decision maker. Red reflects on his own life, the choices he was compelled to make, his hatred of those who made the world this way, his desire to make sure to change every last stinking corner of it. Even as Red guides Vulture's son through the Zone he takes care to save him from multiple hazards in an automatic fashion, the way he would save family, and at great risk to himself. Unsurprisingly, despite a voiced commitment to objectify Arthur as sacrifice, when Red directs him into the grinder and he is promptly liquified, Red is filled with nausea and despair. Reaching for his liquor he finds, for once, no pleasure, only a medicine he must take in order to continue. As he approaches the golden sphere to make his wish he finds he has lost sight of what it is that he wanted. He is only capable of imagining what it is that he desires to change. The removal of the money, bottles, columns of numbers, piles of rags which used to be people reduced and used up only occupying the same status as things. He cannot remember what he was willing to make this sacrifice for, and wishes the destruction of every value he can imagine. He cannot, however, imagine what could be left if all of that was destroyed. In desperation he calls upon something beyond human comprehension in the sphere. Something that can look into him, see beyond the words he cannot find to say. The element within his soul which carries the answer to the desire he wishes to have fulfilled. Finally repeating the last words of Arthur as he entered the grinder: HAPPINESS, FREE, FOR EVERYONE, LET NO ONE BE FORGOTTEN. The promise Noonan is looking for Valentine to make to justify their going into the zone at all, as salvation from something as yet unobserved and beyond human comprehension. A product in the advancement of the intelligence-interaction itself. A machinic intelligence god which can transmute the negative ground of understanding, the will to nothingness, expressed by Red into an imagined future world providing another way of living, a new way of being, becoming something different.

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>>73 (OP) 
like you said, the zombies in roadside represent people ruined by work in service of manufacture. people made sick who are returned to their homes for their families to care for. a read  evidenced when red describes his childhood memories and relationship with his father. he would come home covered in soot then imbibe alcohol to compensate for the position his work put him in. red describes himself as hiding in the corner until his father had begun drinking, then it was safe for him to come out. something along the lines of "it was then ok to ask daddy who was burned up in the sulfur vats".  similar to the zombies in a certain sense red's daughter, monkey, is a mutant made unfit for society by the effects of the exploration of the zone. as the years go on she understands less and less, clearly representing how our monkey brain has a reduced capacity to understand the world as technology progresses. 
all of which is to say, I think you might be barking up the wrong tree here. this book is about the impossibility of utopianism, a disgruntled cry for preservation in a reality that cannot change. i think its a pretty big stretch to say that this book could be intended to evoke hope. much less hope derived from some kind perfected loving ai savior.
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You are without a doubt correct in the way you have interpreted the zombies here. I do take issue with the way you're explaining monkey however.
While it is the case that as the years go on she understands less and less, whether this withdrawal as a result of the ostracization brought on by her difference from others in society, or purely a result of her condition is somewhat unclear. I'm sure you'll recall Red observing the two women sitting on the park bench actively disapproving of Monkey as he was hiding out in his garage. As well as the plot point where Red is at odds with the authorities for assembling playground equipment in the park a way to bribe other parents to let monkey interact with their children. He says something like "but the other kids don't mind, they treat her as one of their own." iirc. Further the outward withdrawal itself could be viewed as an adaptation to the changing environment, worsened by the lack of understanding from her peers of course, but autism is highly correlated with interest in and aptitude at computer science for example. We also shouldn't forget about Vultures two children. While they are afflicted with the mutations that all stalkers children have, they don't suffer from the same withdrawal as Monkey. Red is open about his attraction to vultures daughter, and describes his son as being known as pretty boy. Taking the time to describe shame it is that Arthurs face is scarr
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interesting. i hadn't considered it that way. i'm not sure i agree, but i don't i really care to get into it either

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Give it up
Give up your game
Give up your schemes
Your thoughts insubstantial as mist
You have nothing to win
You have nothing to gain
You have nothing to lose
Give up your palace of thoughts
Give up your fixated ideas
Give up your obession and projection
Give up your hope
Give up your despair
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>>57 (OP) 
Thanks for just being honest I guess
Replies: >>59
hear this:
if it is more to you than ceasing the ceaseless discharge of thought then you've overthought it
Cut down your overthinking
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OP is fixated on non-fixation
I'm sorry op but therevada is a trash lineage and sutrayana is objectively the worst vehicle

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