At the base of the tension of existence is its discontinuity, the fundamental isolation of the individual from the other. When I eat you stay hungry, when I work you do not tire, when you die I persist. We exist in a paradoxical state where we are not only compelled to seek our own preservation, but also to seek union in continuity. The primal suffering of experience is this isolation which defines each individual. However, this isolation is also the means by which everyone is connected, touching through the void, the nothingness, the common denominator of experience which is loss or death. As time passes I die and am born anew in the current moment as a continuous process that only ceases when I do. A process highlighted and reflected in the ambiguous death of an amoeba. Here the movement of splitting is easy enough to observe. And while the instant of its death is hard to place, it can not be denied. The first which gives birth to the two dissipates, but provides a means of continuity between them. Death the disjunctive conjunction, through which I too exist emerging from an infinitesimal series of gaps across time.¹ A phenomena generally imperceptible in society and one which cannot be fully appreciated with logical thought. As the experience of loss itself is something that happens in action rather than through deduction, an event lived through demonstration. Communication is an act like this. A violence which cuts through the exterior layers of self, necessarily erected to differentiate from the environment, to lay a small death inside another. An event intentioned and oriented to reach emotional continuity through a shared conception or idea. An action to which I am driven by a festering wound which opens upon my being demanding homage paid through activity. Itself facilitated through the empty positivity which loss embodies.
’”The Mystical state, elsewhere identified with power, is more properly seen as the desire to give”²
It is easy enough to split the search for continuity in 3³. Emotional, mystical, and physical; 3 means through which we seek release via infliction and affliction of violation giving rise to the annihilation of self. First Emotional continuity, sought through communication of ideas or concepts, conversation, art, all of that which falls into the category of wishing give something penetrating to be understood or give oneself to violation to understand. Second Mystical continuity; the pursuit of continuity in something beyond the physical self by giving yourself over to it through openness. This can be attempted through communion with the world itself, love of god(s) or the other worldly, enlightenment, ritual, sacrifice, prayer, meditation all of which peel away the discontinuous shell of self exposing a positive gap which fills with creation. Finally Physical continuity, sex violence & death; to touch, to be held, to strike to disappear. That which cant be refused arises through the sensibility of the body beyond sight and smell and vision. An attack of the Up close and personal.
Each carries risk and loss within it. Each event destroys us. Loss an inevitability, but one that may not give rise to that which we would chase again. An event deemed worse than not making an attempt towards relief. This risk exists in reception, interpretation and selection. What I try to pass across the void is subject to loss, and is therefore interpreted as something other than what was intended. There is necessarily some element of this, but this loss is both the risk and the creative pleasure of success. Success is a matter of resonance rather than bare replication, and can only ever occur though properly receptive sensibility.
What then are the conditions for successful communication? One which is carried by loss as a term but produces resonance upon reception? First Sufficient violence for a mutual laceration, and second that it arrives with a properly crafted sensibility. Violence is sufficient if it can cut through the layers of the self which were erected inorder to differentiate from the void, the self constructed for preservation must be destroyed, forced to think. Here the receptiveness or emotional nakedness of each individual plays a significant role. That is, the more we are willing to expose and disrobe ourselves, the more vulnerable we are willing to become, the greater the risk we are willing to take on, the higher our affirmation of it, the greater the possibility of success. Similarly of consequence; both positive and negative. Communication is a mutually desired connection in which separation is suspended solely for the person you choose. The force of violence necessary is reduced by this receptivity. To fail at this is to enter into a blunting of the senses, a willful stupidity and disinterestedness in reception. Even upon a sufficiently violent eruption the result is a lack of resonance in interpretation, and likely a failed selection. Here realized as a dwindling of desire for future connection.
Crafting of Sensibility then is the aspect that determines a successful reception, as sensibility is that in which the violence can be received. Its shape, the quality, influences its interpretation which determines its selection. Is this hurting the way I want it to?⁴A properly inflicted torment which I would submit myself to? Does it pluck the string of history to resonate with a desire I would love to lose myself inside? A boiling demand which splits my very being when it escapes into action?
Chance is the interaction of forces, the throw of the dice, their dance and play, illustrated in lust and combat, sex and death as the ends; love and hate. Each flows into the other incessantly, relentlessly, and necessarily. Ideas arise forcibly through sensation which is interpreted by the faculties. Decision as selection exists in the process of adjunction and condensation into ideas. We exist and think as a series process in iteration, each affecting the next.⁵
The beloved arises on the horizon of my sensibilities, and I am accosted by the violence of their existence. The way they move, the hang of their hair, fabrics in which they drape themselves, their scent, the texture of their skin, the look in their eyes, and passions that can be read through them. Innumerable impacts upon my being which can never be exhausted not fully represent them as the unspeakable element which attracts us Birthing and enhancing the agony